


Link goes to Hogwarts

by Nonbendo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23090290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbendo/pseuds/Nonbendo
Summary: Link goes to Hogwarts.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The hole entire universe](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+hole+entire+universe).



> This is a repoost from my fanfuction.net account of a story called link goes to Hogwarts in which link goes to Hogwarts. I hope you enjoy I plan to copy all my stories here eventually.

Link was riding in the interdimensional spacer time bus of the four legged mutant bus driver. The four legged mutant bus driver was like "Time to go to hogwarts." so link got off the bus and walked into hogwarts. And then dumbledore said, "I apologize for the rudeness of this question, but who the flying fuckedy fuck might you be, young one?"

"I am Link, and this is my fairy friend Navy," replied Link, pointing to the aforementioned fairy.

"Hi, I'm Navy," said Navi.

"Well then a jolly good pleasure to meat both of you," said Dumbledore britishly, because he's from britishland(It's an island in asia,) "Link you must be a wizward, because the muggle repelling charms didn't send you flying into a hogwarts toilet."

"K, what's a hogwarts toilet?" Link asked wisely.

"A Hogfarts Toilet is a bloody toilet found at the geographical location of hogwarts of course. Now, will you be joining the bloody school?" asked Dumbptydore with a british accent.

"Sire, why not. The interdimensional four legged mutant bus driver said it was time to go to hogwarts so I probably should. The four legged mutant bus driver has never steered (LOL! GEDDIT?! CAUSE HE DRIVES A BUS AND THEREFORE STEERS A WHEEL! RRRROOOFFFFLLLLMMMMAAAOOO) me wrong before," Link replied even more wiselier.

"Excellent, but you'll jolly well need some bloody money to buy your school things," britished Dumbledore.

"I have money, I have rupees," Said link holding up a green rupee.

"Hmm," Said dumbledore opening a magazine in a british manor, "Accordion to fictional currencies monthly, 1 rupee is worth eleventy billion galleons, so you probably have enough."

"Awesometasticular!" Said link happily.

"Indeed so, now will you need bloody assistance in diagonally?" Asked Udmelborskador britishly.

"No thanks, just directions should be fine" replied link. "I've never gotten lost before, but even if I did, one of navi's fairy powers is to know everything."

"Sure bloody thing," Re-replied Dumbledore while explaining the directions of how to get to Diagon Ally Britishly.

"Kthx" Said link while playing the ocarina and dancing a Kokiri Jig and walking off toward diagonally while riding his unicycle and juggling fish.

Link went forth happily riding his unicycle into shops, who clapped at his impressive unicycling skills, since he could ride on it as fast as a normal person could ride a bycicle except a billion times faster and with incredibly precise precision. But some wizards and/or witches were angry at the muggle contraption and tried to avada kedavra link, so link played the song of time to open a time hole and pull the master sword out of the time hole which he then used to deflect the avada kedavra beams back at the evil wizards who tried to kill him, killing them instantly. Some aurors came to arrest link but some people pointed out that they were evil dead wizards who tried to avada kedavra link which was good because it meant link didn't have to deflect their subduing spells until they collapsed of exhaustion.

Link spent the entire day buying a buncha stuff and bought a lot of stuff, he converted 2 of his rupees into galleons at Green Got's so he had twenty twoty billion galleons and spent 50, so he put the other 775,999,654,128,546,228,214,864 Galleons in his Infinity wallet that he got from the ultimate great fairy that lives on the four legged mutant bus driver's four legged mutant bus. It was able to hold infinite Munny. That's why it's the infinite wallet. Then link went and bought books, and potions crap, and a wand that was made of the ancient burning phoenix of the sun, and the wood of an ebony tree. Link went to sleep at the inn for seven weeks and it was time to head back to hogwarts to get sorted.

Students were supposed to go on the warthog train, but Link was no mood for such idiotic fiddle faddlery, so he simply waited until the last second before mcgonagall would call his name to be sorted and leapt into the air with lightening fast speed all the way to above hogwarts and crashed through the roof, then used the glider to gently float down into the sorting chair for mcgonagall to place the sorting hat upon his head.

"Gryffindor," said the sorting hat.

"Cool," said Link.

"Detention," said Mcgonagall.

"Nah," said Link.

"What do you mean nah?!" Macdonald Demanded.

"Link is kind of... Above any sort of restrictions on anything, they're his antithesis, for he comes to free those bold enough to follow his path to the end of all reason," Said Navi wisely.

Link nodded helpfully.

"Well then he is quite free to leave," Mcgonnacall sternly said, for though she wasn't evil, her heart was full of chains and horribleness.

"Nope, I'm staying! I'm bound to no law and travel where I wish! Such is the nature of the truest soul! Exclaimed link with such virtue that the chains around mcgogganal's heart began to slowly crack, and she fainted from the newfound freedom and had to be winged with a hospital."

Meanwhile the students were escorted to their common rooms and link said a boy with a lightning scar off his forehead. So link introduced himself "Hello, my name is Link, and this is my farty Navi."

"Hi I'm Parry Hotter, Nice to meet you," Harry shook Link's foot. And then they went to bed sleep.

End


	2. Chapter 22

Link goes to Hogfarts chapipter 2: The second chapter of Link goes to Hogwarts.

Disclaimer: I did not purchase the rights to either the legend of zelda nor harry poptart since last chapter since I am not rich with a bajillion rupees like link, nor do I have a bajillion dollars either.

At the first transfiguration class professor mcgon angle was teaching them how to transfigurate matchsticks into needles, which was dumb because if you didn't have a needle, why would you have a matchstick, this spell was completely and utterly usefless outsied of a ridiculously pacific and rare situation, namely that of needing a needle when you have a matchstick and don't have a needle, which is something that doesn't happen very often. Link pointed this out, and since teachers like to yell at students when students ask questions that imply that their teachings are completely and utterly useless for any porpoise whatsever, proffesror mcgonald yelled at link for ten hours, not realizing that he had left at the end of transfumigations class. When she realized he left, she assigned link a detention for his (from her perspocktive, for it was in fact an extreamly inteligunt questyun becuz it was aksed by link.) asinine question about the uses of the spell and started grading papers. In the depths of her soul, the pressure of the chans around her feart had reforged themselves. Though they were still weakened from the crackedy cracks.

Up next was Flitwicks class, which was taught by Proferssor charm.

"Now it is the time of the learning of flitwicks," Said professor charm. "Flitwicks are speels that changes the porpeties of an object or thing, such as the lumos flitwick, which causes a wand to emit light. Another expamel of a flitwick is the bluebell flambe spell that hermione somehow invented before ever coming to hogwarts. Since bluebell flames are a spell likely to be useful in a varity of situations, I'm quite sure that hemproide will never mention or think of them again after her first year."

"That makes cents to me," Said link, putting the pennies he made from it in his infinite munny walleet.

"Indubitably, it is quite a useful charm" said Professor Flitwick, "But now it is time to teach you lumos, everyone wave your wand and say lumos!"

but when seamus cast the spell, it explodd and Flitwick made him write "I am a big old babboon! Luv Shameus" (AM: Or something to that effect, I can't rember what the cannon phrase was. :() on the wall 7 million times with the force of a thousand writings.

Necxt calss was portions class, in which snape walked in the classroom stompily like a grumpy idiot because he's kind of a grumpy idiot. "GRUMP!" Grumped Snape like a grumpy idiot. "YOU CAN ALL PUT YOUR STUPID, PATHETIC, RIDICULOUS WANDS AWAY! IN THIS CLASS WE BREW POTIONS IN CAULDRONS! I'M SURE YOU'LL HATE IT BECUASE YOU'RE ALL DUMB DUNDERHEADS AND IT HAS NOTING TO DO WITH MY TEACHING SKILLS WHICH ARE SHIT AT ALL! GURMP!" Grumped snape.

"NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE HARRY POTTER IS IN THIS CLASS!" snaped yelled with the force of a thousand yells and with even more grump in his grumpy voice. He bent over and glared at harry until their noses touched, "KNOW THAT I DESPISE YOU YOU WORTHLESS, FAME SEEKING, DUNDERHEAD WITH THE DUNDERHEADEDNESS OF A THOUSAND DUNDERHEADS! BUT JUST TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF, HOW DO YOU MAKE A PHILOSPHERER'S STONE?!"

"I'm afraid I have no idea, sir," Harry said politely.

"AHA! THIS IS ABSOLUTE AND IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT DESPITE YOUR CELEBRITY STATUS, YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOLISH NIMROD, AND DESERVE AN F FOREVER IN THIS AND ALL CLASSES!"

"Hold on there, matey!" Declared Link wisely, "I feel your enraged and goofy rant of great ex s is not entirely fair to harry. We were not informed that we were rekwired to read ahead, nor is it justified to ask a question that isn't even in our first year potions textbook. In addition, I find all this screaming quite unprofessional, plus it kind of hurts my ears. Also, you're kind of being a dick, professor."

And professor snape grump stomped like a grumpy idiot toward link and glared down at him, but suddenly he saw the words that had come out of link's mouth before, shining in the air with immense truth. And their truth solidified, and it's weight fell upon him, so he had to be winged with a hospital for a while. Snape reached a hand out from under the words, holding up his an igloo indies finder like he had somethign to say and said, "Class dismissed." and everyone ran out the droo happily.

They went outside and played with the giant octuskwide. And then there was broom driving class so they went to it. Link upped his broom and went cheering throuhg the sky with the force of a thousand cheers, singing in the rain as he went. Modem hook yelled at him, something about him getting his schedule wrong and it not being until friday, but that didn't seem important to liink who continued driving his broom through the water to talk to the mermaids and giant squid. It would normally be hard to talk underwater, but link used his truest soul powers to breath and talk underwaiter jyust fine.

"Sup link," said the mermaids flirtily, so link played the song of time on the ocarina of time to get 18 again like he was in the scond half of ocarina of awesomeness and in ocarina of time upon which that story is biased and then had sexual intercourse with all of them, but we aren't putting the details in this story to keep it teen rated so later ao or mrated one. And when link was done he played the inversed snog of time to be 11 so he could keep going to hogfarts.

And then link got out and modem hook yelled at link some and told him it wasn't fling class and he was sposed to be in erbyology.

"LINK, YELL SCREAM YELL, IT'S NOT FLYNG CLASS YOU'RE SUPPOSITORY BE IN HERBOGY!" yelled modern pooch with the force of a thousand yells.

"Oh, okay," said link, and then he went.

In erbologia they learned about magical fruit. One magical fruit was beans, there was even a song.

"beans beans, the magical fruit

the more you eat the more you toot.

The more you toot, the more holes there are in your large intestines because that's generally a sign of some issue like that.

So don't eat too many beans or you'll die."

"hey, those last lines didn't rhyme," said hermione, so link used his truest soul powers to make them rime, and then hermione didn't say that.

End of chapter 20.


	3. Chapter 3: when squirrels attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione runs away from Rob and gets attached by a big giant trirell!

8Chapter 3: When Squirrels Attack

Chapter 3

As a thanks to those who loved my story enough to review, fave, and whatnot, I shall make a speech here: Thank you to those who loved my story enough to review, fav, and whatnot. Yall is awesum and stufs.

Disclaimer: Do you know how few people own legend of zelda? Zero, because a corporate owns it. Do you know how few people own hary pooter? One, JaK Rowling! And i'm neither of those so I don't own either one.

It was a defence again the dark arts class and link was listening to the teacher talk about trolls! "Trolls are big! Scary! And Green!" Said professor squirrel and that was his whole lesosn because he feinted. Link of course, being really awesome and stuff, new that proferesoer squirrel had a gsbr pm yjr nsvl pg jod jrsf BUT LINK WAS UNDETERRED BY DETERRING THINGS! The other stupidents had to sit there till the bell rang but link was the truest soul and didn't feel lik folloring rules so he didn't. Instead he explored the cattle and went to the third floo corridus. There was a three headed puppy dog so link gave it some steak and petted it for a bit, then he back to the gryffindorms.

MEANWHILE, IN THE SLYTHRIEN LEGION OF DOOM COMMON ROOMS!

A big old slitherin called draco mallory was plotting an evil plot of planliness to get harpy potter expunged. He would chakkenge gary potter to a duel in the middle of the night and then he WOULDN'T SHOW UP! And it would be funny because harry would get expelled! Mafloy evil laughed with the force of a thousand evil laughs! He laughed so loud that mcgonagall heard him from the gryffindorms and walked in demanding to know what he found so evil funny.

"I have an evil plan to get potter expelled from hogwarts, but you don't know about that!" said malfoy.

"Oh, okay, well if I don't know about it I guess I can't do anything about it," said mcgongle, so she went back to the gryffindorms.

The next day, malfoy challegged harry to a duel at midnight. But link overheard, and shouted "MALFOY, CHALLENGING HARRY TO A DUEL?! THAT IS A CLEAR VIOLATION OF HOGWARTS RULES IS IT NOT!"

and professor mcgonagall overheard and aksed if malfoy did so he said yes. So malfory was expeleld for duel challenging which was against the rules.

"OH NO, I HAVE BEEN EXPELLED," Malfoy screamed as the castle telekinetically threw him to the ministry of magic where his wand was snapped. Except that it wasn't because lucius nepotismed draco to durmstrang and was later thrown into azkaban for trying to avada kedavra hogwarts. Link saw this cunning plan and deflected the killing curse back at lucius with his awesome shielding skills.

"BLARG I AM DEAD!" shouted malfoy because he was dead, but his corpse had to serve his asbakan sentence anyway which the dementors were the king of upset about because they can't eat dead souls like vampires can't drink dead blood in anne rice books anyway. And sunddenly proffesor troll ran into the great hal and screamed "THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN THE DUNGEON! SQUIRREL IN THE DUNGEON." just thought you should know, and then he feinted.

Link ran off to fight the Squirrel. Harry and ron also ran off to save hermoninny from the Squirrel. Harry and ron ran into the girls bathrom looking for hermoine. "Hermoine, there's a squirrel in the dungeon," suddenly they heard a really big squeak. And they looked and there was the squirrel towering over the three of them. It swung its massive bushy tail at all the three of them, knocking them into the wall.

"Ow," said harry.

"ow," said hermione.

"ow," said ron.

Then link ran in to save them. The squirrel squeaked ferociously at link and swung its bushy tail at him threateninghly, but link was in no mood for such bullshitious asininity, link grabbed the squirrel by its bushy tail, and swung it around in the air, then slammed it into the ground, SLAM again SLAM again until the squirrel perished regretfully!

Then mcgonangla, snape and dumbledore came running in and saw the dead squirrel and demanded to know what happened.

"I have defeated the squirrel, thus saving hermione, who everyone forgot because she was upset about ron being a buttnogginhead and we need go into no further detail than that," said link respecting hermioninny's privates but also saying what needed to be said.

"Oh okay," said the teachers, and then mogonnalgall said "well link, not many first years could defeat a full grown giant squirrel! 10 points to gryffindor, for dumb luck!"

"but it wasn't luck, it was immense skill. Watch," link said and cast a blasting charm at the wall destroying half the castle, "Luck is the fact that nobody was in the blast radius, except it isn't because my truest soul powers allow me to not kill anyone I don't want to!" and then link magiced the castle back together as if noting happened.

"Impressidve spellwork," said flitwick, who was stunned, "100 points to gryffindor!"

"And also detention," said mchgonagall.

"We've been ovre thiss!" shooted link, "I shall not be a party to your lesser world's stifling restrictions! I am one who lives above such nonsense, I am one who shall grab the bull by the horns," and then link conjured a bull with his truest soul powers, and grabbed it by the horns, "See?" he asked. The teachers' were speechless at the impressive display of wandless conjugation.

and then they all went.

End of chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4: the saving of professor trashbin

Link goes ro Hagwotres Chaptper 4: a new chapter and stuff.

Dismailcler: I don't own harry potter and stuff, nor do I own the zegend of lelda and stuff, nor do I own harry potter or the legend of zelda. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T OWN THESE THINGS?! THAT I MAKE $0 FROM PUTTING THEM ONLINE! YOU SHALL RUE YOUR DERPITY IN THINKING THAT YOU FOOLISH idiots!

also, to everyone who favved and reveiwed and succsribed thank you you all awesome smart geniuses who aprecitate good litarature, nad everyone who reeds this is 2!

now it is time the chapter 4 cums! It is cumming along fantastically I just have to write it, but when you read this it will have came because it will be written by then but not now as I am writing it but as you're reading it it will have already been written because you wouldn't be able to read it otherwise.

And now they was in history class and professor trashbin was floating around being boring. So boring that link was sleeping. Suddenly link woke up so he wasn't sleeping anymore. Link had gotten sick of profefsore trashbin being boring so link pulled out a windy uppy thingy and declared a crazy plan.

"I hope this works," link declared crazy plannily because that's what you declare when you're about to do a crazy plan. And then he stuckk the windy uppy thingy on proffesore trashbins back and wound it up windily and professsory trashbin stopped being boring and was filled with immense engery and he bounced around the room like daffy duck which I don't own.

"SOTHEREWASALLTHESEGOBLINSWHATFIFTYYEARSAGODECIDEDTOREBELWITHREBELLIONBECAUSETHEMINISTRYLIKESTOEXNSLAVEOTHEREPEOPLESESANDISRACISTSOTHEGOBLINSREBELLEDANDTRIEDTOKILLTHEMINISTRYANDTHATWASTHEGOBLINREBELLIONS!" professor trashbin said really fast because he was energeticallized. But then he passed out and had to be winged with a hospital even though he's a ghast who can't die becuase he's a ready dead.

And then there was also Astrology. I don't know if I can make astronomy interesting but I'll try so Link and the other stupidents whent to astorolsty at night, and they used their wizard telescopes to teleport to space and dance with the stars like kaley cuoco. But kaley cuoco was kind of a bitch so link told her so by saying "Kaley cuoco, you are kind of a bitch," and kaley cuoco said "How dare you?! I shall now kikc every male man in the balls," said kaley cuoco and ran of to do that but she was a star and couldn't get out of the sky so no she didn't. (AN: I don't own kaley cuoco.)

and then they all went to bed and woke up the next day. And there was a kwidditch game where harry was playing qwiddtch against the slitherings. Professor squirrel was magicking harry's broom crappy, and snape was trying to decrappificate it, so link got mad and leapt into the sky with the force of a thousand leaps and shouted like mad, "PROFESSOR SQUIRREL, YOU HAVE BETRAYED YOUR INNER SOUL BY WROSHPING VOLDEMORT WHO IN YOUR NOGGIN TURBINE, AND SHALL BE DESTROYYYYYYEEDDDD!" and link sent forth a giant HINOTAMA(japanese for fireball because all gratuitious japanese for no raisin and sutff is fun!) that burnt professor squirrel to a crisp. Unfortunely professor squirrel's had cast clone last week in case he died and he come back in his secret office so the plot would go on. But he did have to be winged with a hospital just in case.

And then was broom driving class. Modern pooch told them to up their brooms.

"UP!" everyone shouted to their brooms like mad. The brooms didn't listen except for the ones that did and the ones that did flew into their hands but not the ones that didn't listen because the brooms that didn't listen just laid there on the ground like the lazy ass brooms they were.

"Now everone, you have to push off the ground with your fight root, if you push off the ground with your left foot..." naturally link stopped listening when he realized these were the rules and instructions of the false lie world, and he didn't need to listen to them beccause he was the truest soul, and only people who weren't the truest soul had to follow the rules and intsutroins of the false lie world, because their souls had awakened to the truth of the truest soul that walks around truthing in every soul but only when it's awake, so it has to be awakened an then you can do anything like link because he's the truest soul, but only if you become the truest soul too. Suddenly a helicopter flew over hogwarts, but then it realized it had something important to do so it left because it's a muggle contraception.

I fell like im out of classes so but it was x mas holly days now so they were looking for inromfation on nickelodeon flannel, the inventor of the philiosphorous stone. "I HAVE FOUND IT, NICKELODEON FLANNEL WAS SOME GUY WHO MADE HIMSELF IMROTEL BY INVENTEING THE PHOSPHOROUS STONE! DUMBELLDOOR IS HIS BESTEST BEST FRIEND!" Link shouted, drawing madam pinch the librain to him who tried to come over and pinch him for shouting, but her hand broke on link's invisible truest soul forcefield and she had to be winged with a hospital. Link felt badguilty for a second, but ultimately had to remind himself that it was her own fault for trying to punch him because it was.

Then link came all the way to gryffindeor tower and went in his bed.


	5.  9Chapter 5: Scooby Doo Doors at hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link goes the Hogwarts chachachapoopter 5, the sixth chapter!1111111
> 
> This is chapter 5, the fifth chapter of link goes to hogwarts. It is not chapter 4, nor is it chapter 6. chapter 3 is right out. Nay, it is chapter five. The fifth chapter in sequins.
> 
> Discalimari: I am not Jak Rowling.

The stupidents were in magical ballet class(AN I AM THE AUTHOR OF THIS FANFIC AND CAN MAKE UP CLASSES IF I RUN OUT IF I WANT TO DAMN IT!), and wearing magical tutus. But link didn't feel like wearing a tutu so he didn't but then he decided to be femlink for the class so he did, but then he decided not to wear a tutu but still be femlink for the class because he can does that using his truest soul powers. The students all danced magic ballet, which is different from muggle ballet because it's done whilst flying on broomsticcks, and it's kind of hard to dance ballet whilst flying on a broomstick, but they did it anyway. Madam cooch gave them all eleventy billions to each of their hosues, sort of making it not matter.

MEANWHILE, JUST OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM IN THE HALL:

Udmelborskador walked into the magical ballet classroom.

"Pardon me for my rudeness, but we don't have a bloody fucking magical ballet class, that is quite silly!" Udmelborskador said.

"Oh that's right, I forgot" said modern pooch and everyone stopped dancing ballet. And then through the wall burst an anvil monster with sledgehammers, sledgehammering everything in sight.

"Oh crap, it's an anvil monster with sledgehammers, sledgehammering everything in sight!" cowered everyone fearfully with fear. The anvil monster slammed a sledgehammer into some student, but luckily Udmelborskador had protegoed the kid. And then link was in no mood for such ludricrous stupidity! Link pulled out his megaton hammer and hurricained attack with it, smashing the sledgehammers to bits. And then link jumped on the anvil part of the anvil monster and brought the hammer down (GET IT?! I AM THE FUNIEST AUTHOR EVAR!) upon the anvil, BANG! BANG BANG! BANG! The anvil was split down the middle with cracks and cracked apart and fell apart dead. The anvil monster was dead now, link had saved everyone in the class who all clapped and cheered link for being awesome!

MEANWHILE, LATER THAT DAY AT DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS!

Hermonninny raised her hand, "Professor quirell, how are alive, we all saw you die at the quidditch game."

everyone else nodded helpfully, including link because he was the truest soul.

"Now stupidents, you shouldn't believe everything you see at a quidditch game," Said profeesor Squirrel, wagging his finger at them.

Suddenly Minister Fuge burst into the room with a billion aurors. "Professor squirrel, you're under arrest for broomstick cursing in front of everyone, and being possessed by Lord Dolvemfort!"

And then Dumbledore came too. "Doofenschmort, your reign of terror ends today, OR MY NAME ISN'T UDMELBORSKADOR DUMBLYDOOR BUMBLEROAR DUMBLEDORE. AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THAT IS MY NAME! or was it Abunch presival Wuffric? Hmm... I can't seem to remember." and then udmelborskador hit dolvemfort with a cane seven times.

And then professor squirrelMORT ran away with the speed of a thousand runs.

"AFTER HIM!" fUDGE Shouted like mad!

"I HAVE CRABS IN MY SOCKS!" Whispered Dumbledore

Professor ran all through the halls with the speed of a thousand runnings, and then he got on a nimbius 2001 and started flying with the speed of two thousand flyings (GET IT?! IT IS NOT A PUN BUT SOME SORT OF NUMBERS JOKE! ROFLMAOO I AM HILARITY.) The aurors all got on their broomsticcks and started flying after him, and then professor squirell flew under a stone arch which exploded for no apparent reason, this confused the aurors, but they realized their was no time to worry about exploding stone arches that Prolly have something to do with a certain pollerghast.

Professor squirell flew into a door, and the door closed behind him, then the aurors flew threw the same door just as professor squirell flew out of one on the opposite side of the hallway, professor squirell flew into a different door, and the aurors flew out of that door a second later as harry potter flew out of a completely different door as he was being chased by a naked dumbledore wearing a bathrobe. Then another door opened and the billion aurorors flew out being chased by squirellmort.

And then link came and laughed at the silly classic cartoon gag that is technically a cliché but is classic because its still hilarious to this day and forevermore as hermione chased an elephant in a pink wizard robe and blue wizard's hat out of another door, and hermione was wearing a black leather shirt that showed off her boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think she's a slut but she's really not, she was just forced to wear eboby drakness demintia raven way's clothes as a dare.

But then the Scooby Doo Door gag that I don't own ended and Squirellmort came out and link played the song of time and turned to adult link form and stabbed Squirellmort with the master sword, killing him instantly, and the master sword's anti evil powers reverbated through voldemort and blew up all his horthcucks, killing voldemort once and fur all period end of story until the sequail that I may or may not write I don't know yet. Thank you, and have a pleasant night and a good tomorrow have.

The end.

Auhtor's note: I'll probably write an epic log for this story like I did for ocarina of awesomeness but that one had three...


	6. Link goes to Havanta epic log 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which link and doobiedore horse around q lot and discuss moral philawsophy!

Link goes to Hagwants Epic Log 1!

Puroferseir Udmelborskador sat in his orifice drinking lemon drops. "Such deciduous sodas the muglegs come up up with," Dumledor thought intelligently with intelligence. Dumbledore was happy that because Lord Dolemvort was defeat, and he was also happy that dolmevort wasn't living forever as a buncha mutiliated babby thingys, it was good that voldremort may be reincarnated as another person or soemthing to learn to love. And it was all thanks to the truest soul who was link and was sitting in a chair before him.

"Thank you for shaving volamrote," said dumbledore, petting his pet sheep volamrote. "And also thank you for killing and saving voldemort. Some people might think he deserved to exist in eternal agony as a buncha muitlated baby things, but I kind of think those people are being unnecesarily vengeful. It doesn't particularly help anyone to have him suffer forever instead of just dying, evan if it's derseved. And this way he cans be reencranated."

"Yep, I totally agree. He'll come back as a better pearson probaly. Or worse, but it's all a learning experience, and he learned the worng liaison this life. I kind of feel bad for him." said link while doing a handstand in his unicycle seat and juggling fish with his feat just to horse around.

"Indeed," said dumbledore, while apparating around his orifice just to horse around.

"Quite," said link, now cooking a deciduous beefstew just to horse around. He gave some to dumbledore who prompty devoured it and said it was deciduous because it was deciduous.

"Indubitably," said Udmelborskador while having a british accent, beucause he's british being from britishland. You see, 94.5 billion years ago, the followers of brittania left the great nation of america to found an england. Unfortunately they received a cease and desist order because england was already a united state, so they had to call it britishland instead. Britishland slowly ate scotland, and is in the process of eating ireland. They've already eaten the northern part. Brittania, of course, is a prehistoric goddess worshipped primarily by the native canandidalandians. Canandidaland is, of course, north of america, way up in greenland. The first americans were of course descended from the native canandidalandiands, who migrated to america after a meteor struck canandidaland. Umdleboar was also juggling some spiked balls perfectly, just to horse around.

"Yeppers," Replied link while juggling some fish with the force of a thousand jugglings he juggled fish, just to horse around.

"Right!" said Dudmelbor, mixing a lemon droop and a butterbeer just to horse around. He drank it though and it was acutely pretty god.

"anyway, you should be getting back to the gryffindorms," said dudmelskor, britishly.

"yep, watch out for muggle science. It caused the lie world to be moving toward the inevitable heat death of the universe, which means no one from the lie world is real until they either ascend or stop the inevitable heat edeath," link warned.

"ah crap. I'll kepp that in mind." said dumbledore britihsly.

"magnificent," said link as he turned into a winged buffalo and stampeded back to the gryffindorms just to buffalo (ROFLMAO, LIKE HORSE AROUND BUT A BUFFALO! AND WHIEL WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF BUFFALOS, WHAT'S WITH RESTAURANTS GIVING YOU CHICKEN WINGS IN HOT SAUCE WHEN YOU ORDER BUFFALO WINGS?! IF THEY CAN'T GET ACTUAL WINGS FROM AN ACTUAL BUFFALO THEN THEY SHOULDN'T BE ON THE MENU!) around, but was blocked in the way by a laughing preofersror mcgonagall. Link could see the chains around her feart were almost kinda cracking again, but so was her mind.

"What must I do to break through to the stew, mr. true?" Asked Mcgogganall with maddening madness slowly growing more madderer.

Link sighed sadly, enliteningment was too much for some souls, she would have to try again latter. Link patted mcgonacall on the nogginyhead.

"Rest now mcgonagall, enlightment can't be achieve by everyone in every life. You will have fucture operatuniaties. And mchonall cllapsed onto the gorund because she had unconscious bussed. Then link went in his bed and sleeped for approximately 8 hours, 23 minutes and 35 seconds.," link said and mckonatall cowlappsed onto the grond because she had gone unconscious bus and link went to his and sleept for apporximately 8 hours, 32 minutes, and 53 seconds!

MEANWHILE, A BIT LATER IN PROFESROR HEADMATER BUMBLEBEE'S ORIFICE: a buncha muggle porlicemen were arrested dumlabore for eating and drinking things other than tea and crumpets, because in britishland it is illegal to eat or drink anything other than tea and crumpets!

"Mwahahahaha," said the author wisely! "this may or may not be set up for the sequail where link has to fix the false laws that restruct food, and shave udmelborskador!  
🦔🧚 🥒 🥕   
End of epic log 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of making more chapters of this because going to bed sleep is no way to end a story. I think I should go to end of book 1 at least where link will kill voldemort for good.


End file.
